Even
one of the most beautiful places in the world has been turned into a city of
advertising. Home to 30,000 cabs, 5,701 public busses and 468 train stops,
advertising has snuck into every nook and cranny of New York City. Every bus,
every cab, every train car is covered in advertisements that vary in size, from
an 8x11 inch piece of paper to 10 feet.
Their contents range from applying to online school to the best strip
clubs in NYC. After spending two weeks in New York City, it is etched in my
brain that there is a strip club on 252 west 43rd street. Not that I
am ever going to need to use this information, I just saw the mini billboard on
what seemed like every taxi cab that drove through the city. These
transportation systems move all around the city, from Brooklyn to Manhattan
these ads travel hundreds of miles every day, catching the eye of thousands.
It
never occurs to the 52.7 billion tourists who visit the city every year–according
to NYC The Official Guide–that they are traveling through a city that runs on
advertising itself. Transportation helps out but the real deal lies in Time
Square. If you were to look out over the northern part of Time Square you would
see 27 mechanical billboards lining the skyscrapers from top to bottom. Moving
words and pictures along with the humble and jumble of the pedestrians provide
any streetwalker a full experience of Times Square.
But
what happened to visiting the city to admire its art and culture? I feel like
tourists in New York City come To time Square, not the art galleries in
Brooklyn or to eat at a little bistro in Little Italy on the lower east side.
There is so much more to this city than just advertising and this upsets me.
Walking
through Times Square people are subconsciously absorbing ads without even
knowing. They might think that the huge 4,000 square foot blinking screen is
art. At least I did when I saw Times Square for the first time. But when you
actually think about what is going on–hundreds of companies feeding you
information– you start to question; what is the real meaning of advertisement?
Do companies blatantly show their product hoping we will see? Or do they
strategically place the billboards across the square where they know certain
customers will be sure to see them. Not only the overwhelming size but the
placement of these ads matters in the world of business.
In
a way advertising is a form of brainwashing. If the city was stripped of all
ads, would it still be the city we know and love?
Colette, this is an interesting response. You are a very colorful writer, which makes your writing very engaging. Naturally your readers are going to gravitate towards your descriptions of a public transportation system mired in ads, Times Square, and yes, the strip clubs. This is usually the part of the writing that students - well versed in the rudiments of the Five Paragraph Essay - struggle with. You do not. Great.
ReplyDeleteHowever, there are numerous technical issues that will distract your reader and detract from your purpose with just as much force as the colorful description attracts them. Let's look at just the first paragraph:
Your second sentence begins with the description "Home to..." This is a misplaced modifier. The subject of your sentence is "advertising," so technically your sentence reads that "advertising" is "Home to...". You need to restructure your sentence so that the modifier "Home to..." modifies NYC and not advertising. The last two sentences in this paragraph are run-on sentences. They need to be broken up or punctuated differently. You make similar mistakes throughout this post.
Your writing exudes color and edginess. I look forward to reading it. You will notice yourself garner a much larger audience when you clear up the technical mistakes. Focus your efforts here. Maybe find a friend to proof-read your stuff.