Who am I?
When asked this question the first answer that immediately comes to mind is to
say my name: Greta Freking. However, my name does not define who I am as a
person, sister, student, or athlete. My name can only tell a person what to
call me. Who I am is sixteen-year-old junior student-athlete at Milton High
School. I am the person that seeks for the challenges in life in order to push
myself to accomplish new goals. I am the person that looks forward to new
opportunities and ideas that I hear and learn about from my peers.
Who I am
at home is the oldest of four kids. I am a daughter, a sister, and hopefully a
role model to my three younger siblings. I am the daughter who helps and
attends to my parent’s needs in order to keep the house at ease. I am the sister that
most of the time is there for my siblings when they are feeling down or need
advice. I am a family person. Family comes first in my eyes
and I am the person who will do anything for my family.
Who I am
at school and as an athlete are similar and go hand in hand with each other.
Whether I am in school, kicking a soccer ball on the turf, or racing on the
track, I am the person that puts my heart and soul into everything I do. If I do
not accomplish something to the best of my ability it agitates me for days however, it only makes me more determined to improve. Who I am is the student that at times
enjoys school while at other times cannot bear it. I am the student who always
does their homework, studies for every test, but still counts down the minutes until
the day ends. After school I am the athlete. Who I am as an athlete is
dedicated and motivated to improve everyday I practice. There are always ways
to develop as an athlete and in my mind practice does make perfect.
Who I am
is a caring, entertaining, and social sixteen-year-old high school student who wants to make it home everyday knowing that I did everything I possibly
could do to make the most of my day. Life is too short to worry about the
little things.
Greta, this is fairly well written. There are a couple awkward pronoun issues where you confuse your narrative voice. You flip-flop back and forth from the first person to the third person - sometimes in the same sentence. That is awkward. Also, this is a bit vague. It's a nice description, but there is nothing in this to separate yourself from many other MHS students.
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